Grandpa pens letters to Olivia

Pat Bernethy and his granddaughter, Olivia, stand by books of letters he’s written to her over the last 14 years. Bernethy wrote one letter almost every day.

Monica Dufour
Index Staff Writer

DAVISON TWP. — When Davison Twp. resident Pat Bernethy began writing letters to his granddaughter in 1995, he likely didn’t think the number would reach 4,582 letters and counting.
Bernethy presented Olivia Phillips the letters, bound in books, for her 16th birthday April 20.

“I had to go on a trip to Florida when Olivia was two-and-a-half. I wrote her a letter on my 50th birthday, on Oct. 10. Once I started writing the letter, I thought, ‘why not write to her every day?’” For the first three years or so, he hand-wrote each letter. “Then, I decided it was time to get a computer and type the letters instead.”

Since then, he’s only missed a couple of days writing letters when he had to have heart surgery in 2006. “I wrote her a few days later explaining why grandpa didn’t write to her.”

Bernethy said over the years, he’s tried to get as much family history compiled in the letters as possible. “I’ve written about both her great-grandmothers.”

He also writes about events he and his wife, Judy, have attended and places they’ve visited, volunteer work they’ve performed, and the importance of being Christian.

Bernethy also keeps track of things going on in Olivia’s life, such as her honor roll. “There were a couple missing,” he said with a chuckle.

Inside each book are folders, where Bernethy has placed mementos like menus from restaurants they’ve been to or brochures from places they’ve visited. Each book has a photo on it of something Olivia really liked. A couple of the books had pictures of a playhouse Bernethy made her.

Life lessons are something else he touches on frequently. “I’ve written to her about the importance of saving money, even if you just save a dime a day, it adds up. So every 1,000 letter, I put in a $100. I also include information on interest as well.”

Finding good qualities in a man was another subject of a letter to his granddaughter.
“The most important thing is that he needs to be a good Christian; being polite and nice and not using bad language. It goes on, but I don’t want to be too critical,” he said with a laugh.

In each of his letters he concludes with a tidbit. “A man may be the head of the house,” he wrote. “But, the woman is the neck. Without the neck, nothing happens.”

“There have been times when I couldn’t remember something, and I’ve gone back through the letters to see if I can find the information,” Bernethy said.

In the beginning, Bernethy was worried about being able to have enough to write every day. It didn’t take him long to find out it wasn’t difficult at all. Most of his letters are at least a page long, sometimes more. He confessed there have been a couple of instances when he’s only written a three-quarter page letter. “It’s amazing to see how my style of writing has changed over the years.”

Sometimes he gets inspired while traveling in his car. “Everyone travels; the ultimate travel is to seek Jesus Christ. Sometimes we take a wrong turn; sometimes the highway gets clogged up by billboards. We need to purge our souls in the strength of faith. We need to stop at church and fill up with premium faith instead of filling up with gas.

“The letters make me feel special,” Phillips said. “God has rest stops on the highway, they’re called churches.”

“I think it’s cool, especially all of the things he has remembered,” Phillips said. “Now I can read and think about them.”

With a stack of books to delve into, the sophomore said she’s going to start out with letters from 1995. “I can’t remember anything from then.”

Bernethy plans to continue writing the letters to his granddaughter. He has a fire-safe cabinet where he keeps the books.

His advice to other grandparents: “Spend as much time with your grandkids as you can, and the next time have them first,” he said with a laugh.